Sheer Genius.

Anyone who has been transfixed over uber blogger Andrew Sullivan's descent into complete insanity* over his obsession with Sarah Palin's** reproductive organs should read this brilliant piece by Iowahawk- "Dial 'M' For Maternity". It's a couple of months old but I've only just come across it:

"So, Doc, you're saying that Bristol Palin gave birth to both of those babies?"

Burns -- the Atlantic crime lab's gynecologist -- took off his stethoscope, put his face in his palms, and slowly rubbed his eyes.

"No, Loads, you fucking idiot. That's the exact opposite of what I'm saying. The human gestation cycle is 9 months, and the human female is physically incapable of completing two separate birth cycles within an 11 month period. The odds of an 18 year old female having a Down's Syndrome baby are more than 100,000 to 1, compared to 30 to 1 for a female in her 40s. It is an anatomic, physiological impossibility, never before seen in the history of human medicine."

"Ahhh... I catch your drift, sawbones," I said, looking up at the fluorescent panels of his exam room. "You're saying... you're saying that the Palins may not actually be humans! Dammit! How could have I been so blind no to see all the obvious clues? Do you suspect they may be a sleeper cell for intergalactic invaders?"

The medico looked at me with a blank stare for a few minutes. I could tell he knew something, but was too afraid to talk.

"Inspector Loads, do you use marijuana frequently?"

"Depends. Is five or six times a day frequent?"

* Actually Sullivan was a conspiracy theorist long before Palin came on the scene although he hasn't persisted with his other ideas to the same extent.

** I'm not a kneejerk Palin booster, I certainly don't think sane critics of hers like David Frum or Heather Mac Donald should be forced out of the conservative tent. However many of her critics, like Sullivan, are literally insane.

Then & Now, PDS Special!

One more Sarah Palin post and after this I promise not to mention her for a week because I realise that the subject must be getting boring. Actually this is more of an Andrew Sullivan post and how even parodies of the Palin smears can't beat the real thing.

Sullivan in May:

Commentary's Abe Greenwald takes Obama to task for refusing coffee and asking for orange juice instead:

The switch from juice to coffee is a rite of adulthood. It’s not that Obama seemed to hold himself above the coffee drinkers. It’s that he seemed to lag behind them. He’s still on fruit juice while the adults are sipping bitter and bracing coffee.

Even his commenters say this is stretching it:

You guys are just running out of things to say.

And heaven help us, there are still 6 months to go before the election. And by the way, I’m older than Barack Obama, and I prefer juice to coffee. You know, some people just don’t like coffee.

Another of Abe's readers:

This is ridiculous. Choosing not to drink coffee doesn’t mean you’re childish. Here’s an alternative explanation: Obama takes care of his health. Coffee is not good for you. Orange juice is. Ergo, no coffee. One could blame Obama’s arugula-chomping and good physical condition on the same tendency. I don’t think Obama’s abstaning from coffee says anything about the man’s childishness–or lack thereof.

Look: if you're a neocon, it beats discussing the war.

Sullivan in September:

"I hate to admit it, but a skinny white chocolate mocha is my staple in the morning," - Sarah Palin, in the WSJ glossy supplement out this weekend.

Now imagine if the Democrats had a vice-presidential candidate with no record of any views on foreign policy and whose favorite morning snack was a white chocolate mocha. Do you think Rush Limbaugh would be calling it a brilliant choice? Her workout pitfall? Drum roll:

"Being pregnant every few years. If I get lazy and go weeks or months without exercising it's not because of circumstances but because I'm being less disciplined. Shame on me."

Huh?

The Jews Control Sarah Palin! (Of Course...)

Last week Andrew Sullivan was linking to baseless slurs insinuating that Sarah Palin had links to the anti semitic Pat Buchanan, this week he's claiming that she is a tool of the hook nosed yiddos*:

know she's being safely indoctrinated by Joe Lieberman and AIPAC as we speak

Perhaps in a few days he'll tie his conspiracy theories together and figure out that Bristol Palin's missing baby hasn't turned up because it had already been sacrificed by the Elders of Zion.

* I am paraphrasing him here.

What's In A Name?

You know how supporters of "the One" get outraged whenever someone uses his full name? Well this rule against name mockery only works one way:

Barack Hussein Obama Supporter Mocks Names

It has been obvious for several years now that Andrew Sullivan is a bunny boiler who has allowed his feelings of rejection by the Republican Party to push him to the point of madness. Nowadays his rage, paranoia and detachment from reality make him a shadow of who he once was, now his journalism makes that of Alex Jones look like Alastair Cooke.

Rovian Plots.

Andrew Sullivan believes that the war in Georgia was started by Karl Rove. Seriously.