How To Report For The Guardian.

A row has broken out between the Daily Mail- which supported Hitler in the 1930s- and Darth Vader after the paper claimed that he was involved in the destruction of Alderaan. Mr Vader demanded an apology from the Daily Mail for what he describes as "an orchestrated campaign" against him.

Friends of Mr Vader have dismissed the newspaper's claims as being part of a concerted effort to discredit the Empire. This is not the first time that The Daily Mail- which supported Hitler in the 1930s- has been hit by controversy, with many of it's practices under scrutiny by the Leveson inquiry.

The Daily Mail- which supported Hitler in the 1930s- caused controversy earlier this year with a deeply personal attack on Palpatine's father provoking a reader backlash. .....

Now And Then

Daily Mail, 19th of April:

God only knows what the long-term effects of regularly viewing online  pornography will be on our children and teenagers, because this generation is the first to be exposed to it. 

But most of us have a pretty good idea: a distorted view of sex and human  relations is probably the least of it.
.....
Surely what all the providers should be doing is requiring anyone wanting access to online porn actively to opt in to these deeply degrading services.

Plainly, there’s no substitute for parents keeping a vigilant eye on their children, especially their internet use.

But if the industry won’t regulate itself to deal with this deeply corrosive social menace, it must be forced to do so.

Daily Mail, 14th of May:

An 'absolutely stunning' photograph of Madonna posing naked on a bed while smoking a cigarette has sold for nearly £15,000.

The sum is three times the estimate placed on the image that was taken in 1990 during the period when the singer had bleach-blonde hair and dark eye make-up.

It is a black and white photo and Madonna has her breasts exposed and just a white sheet covering her pudenda while she lies on a bed.

 

Complete with picture of course.

Mail Shocked That Kidnapping Children Illegal.

The one sided extradition treaty with the United States has rightly received a lot of criticism, but the Daily Mail's outrage over this potential extradition is demagogic America bashing rather than a serious criticism.

In what circumstances is it acceptable for one half of a divorced couple to deny custodial access to the children by moving to another country and refusing to let them see the other parent?

Foxy Knoxy & Faily Maily

The Daily Mail has been caught out publishing a story that Amanda Knox had been found guilty when she was of course released (even though it is fairly clear that she is as guilty as sin).

In itself that would only be slightly embarrassing- I am sure most newspapers had two versions of the story written up and waited on the verdict to see which one to use. What makes the Daily Mail's story interesting is the use of quotes in their since retracted story:

Prosecutors were delighted with the verdict and said "Justice has been done" although they said on a "human factor it was sad two young people would be spending years in jail"

Now because we now know Knox and her male accomplice no one cares about were in fact released it is clear that the prosecutors did not say any of these things. The Daily Mail was intending to use a piece with fabricated quotes in other words- doing a Hari as it were.

So either the reporter- Nick Pisa- made them up off his own bat or the Daily Mail routinely make things up for the sake of a better story. I do not believe that we are going to hear about an investigation into Pisa's work by a shocked Daily Mail editor any time soon.

Despite?

Strange headline in the Daily Mail:

Booming 99p Stores ready to double its shops by 2015 despite the downturn

Thrift stores do well despite people not having much money, what a shock.

Quote Of The Day

On the Scottish Euromillions winners:

Neighbours described their only hobby as ‘takeaways’ 

Scaremongering Headline Of The Day

Fears nuclear reactor will explode as 'out of control' cooling system fails at plant

Three guesses where it's from.

Avid Porn Consumer Applies For Job At BBC

I don't particularly object to Jacqui Smith applying for a "top job" at the BBC especially if she takes advice on programming from her husband.

More CGT Fun

As I mentioned the other day, the Daily Mail has been asking property investment companies to find sympathetic investors who are worried about the proposed rise in Capital Gains Tax. This is the sort of thing the stories are being used for. In the case of couple who have owned a second home for years and want to use it to fund their retirement- it isn't obvious to me why the don't simply keep making money from the rental income rather than selling the house.

CGT is neither the best nor the worst tax out there, but if it is a threat to property prices the Daily Mail will act as if it is the reintroduction of the Window Tax.

Inside The Sausage Factory

Someone who owns various houses through a property company showed me an email he has received from them. They are asking for clients who are willing to be interviewed by the Daily Mail about their concerns over the proposed rise in Capital Gains Tax. They are particularly interested in finding a lady who has one property that she hopes to sell in order to fund her pension.

So there you go- a heart rending tale of a middle aged woman who is worried about her pension- next week's news today.

Ian Blair Reviewed.

Say what you like about the Daily Mail, but no one else can trash someone as whole heartedly as them. When they do this to someone who is kind of asking for it, like Ian Blair, then it is a joy to behold.

Education Nooz.

Ostensibly this article is about a boy unfairly excluded from school. However the message is fairly clear but must remain as merely subtext because the family are the ones cooperating with the press. That message is "thank God that this bolshy chav family have been dealt with properly". The photographer has even persuaded them to pose in a manner to emphasise their thuggishness. Stand out quote:

Mr Walton said: 'The school sent a letter saying that I told Dan, "Kick the headteacher in the nuts if he kept you against your will".

'I think it's diabolical. My boy shouldn't be excluded for something I have said. I don't regret it.'

Meanwhile in other Daily Mail sourced news, read the heart rending tale of a boy whose life has been made a "misery" because of his name, Harry Potter.

Boat Seen On Lake.

Is this Nessie on Google Earth?

Possibly, I mean if the Loch Ness Monster happens to look exactly like a fishing boat it would explain why it has been so hard to find.

Quote Of The Day.

Have you been wondering what the connection is between swine flu, plane crashes and innaccurate seasonal weather forecasts? Well wonder no more, under the comments to this story one reader says what we've all been thinking:

Call me paranoid but I got the distinct impression that we were being persuaded into not travelling abroad this year. The unprecedented number of aircraft accidents or problems, combined with the swine flu and other scares, it is as though we were not advised to fly.

Swine Flu Parties.

Some parents are so awful that even Joe Jackson thinks of calling social services on them. If this isn't an urban myth based on one jokey message board post, then these parents are in that category:

Parents were warned yesterday not to take their children to 'swine flu parties' in the hope of getting them immunised from the virus.

Some mothers have suggested deliberately exposing youngsters to the virus now before it mutates into a more potent strain, according to the website mumsnet.com.

Okay swine flu kills around 1 in 1000 victims. That really makes it quite dangerous and subjecting your child to a 1 in 1000 chance of dying is insane.

Isn't the rationale behind exposing children to infectious diseases to prevent them suffering from it later on? So why would anyone risk infecting a child with a disease that has been around for a few months and will probably diasappear in a few years anyhow?

Hack, heal thyself.

Steven Glover denounces bloggers for having the power to spread lies and slanders against innocent people- on the 20th anniversery of the Hillsborough disaster where the press spread lies and slanders against innocent people.

Laughalong With Laughland.

It isn't just the left that are using the credit crunch to promote policies that would wreck our economy, in the Daily Mail John Laughland (better known as an apologist for Slobodan Milosevic) demands that the Conservatives abandon free trade:

Of all the lessons to be learned from the meltdown of the world's financial system - a catastrophe that will impoverish every household in Britain - none is more urgent than that the Conservative Party should abandon the ideology that got us into this mess in the first place.

I refer to the now discredited doctrine of free trade, which has been the Tories' central belief for three decades. It was only later adopted by Labour under Tony Blair - but it is now doing so much damage that it is time to get rid of it.

As he says, free trade has been British policy for 30 years now, yet who would seriously deny that the UK's economy has been far more successful in the last 30 years than in the previous 30?

He doesn't actually explain in what sense free trade has been discredited, other than the fact he opposes it. I'm guessing his reasoning is we practice free trade, we have a financial crisis, therefore the financial crisis must be caused by free trade, even though I can't think of an explanation of how this occurs. After all North Korea doesn't have a credit crunch do they?