Among The Bumpkins.

Somehow I missed the Independent's report earlier this month from the very heart of darkness, the British countryside!

Downside of rural life: poverty, racism and mental illness

Far from idyllic, small villages are frequently a place of poverty, inequality, bigotry and isolation.

Very much like towns, or cities, or any other type of human settlement then?

In many cases, troubles such as racism, homelessness, mental health problems, low take-up of higher education and access to key services go unreported.

Very much like in towns, cities etc?

Racially-motivated incidents are increasing faster in rural areas with some of the country's prettiest counties - Northumberland, Devon and Cornwall - experiencing the ugliest rises in hate crimes. North Wales has seen a 400 per cent jump in such crimes in six years.

First of all, they just said that it was going unreported now they are telling us that it is being reported. Secondly racially motivated crimes are not going to increase or decrease at the same rate everywhere, it has to be increasing faster somewhere doesn't it?

Deeply entrenched cultural patterns and a tradition of self-reliance has meant that serious mental health problems often go unrecognised with much lower consultation rates.

We must eradicate self reliance!

Migrant workers suffer most with little access to services.

I thought it was entrenched cultural patterns that were the problem so shouldn't migrant workers be affected less. The most extraordinary claim is yet to come however.

Accidents and deaths among such workers, the report said, largely go under-reported.

What!!!!! Deaths are going unreported in the countryside! Do they really not think that people would have noticed if dead Poles were littering our countryside decaying in the hedgerows? Mind you it was probably the racist country dwellers who lynched them in the first place.