1. Is this country friendly with the USA?With the help of this guide you can bluff your way through conversations with Socialist Worker salesproles or engage in constructive on Comment is Free.
Yes- Clearly they have as much to gain from US hegemony of oil as the great Satan itself. Proceed to end.
No- Proceed to 2.
2. Has the United States or one of its allies invaded this country?
Yes- Proceed to 3.
No- Proceed to 5.
3. Does this country produce oil?
Yes- Clearly the USA wants to steal the oil. Proceed to end.
No- Proceed to 4.
4. Does this country have a land border?
Yes- Clearly it is in a strategic location for an oil pipeline. Proceed to end.
No- Clearly this country's territorial waters are ripe for oil exploration. Proceed to end.
5. Does this country produce oil?
Yes- Proceed to 6.
No- See America won't intervene in foreign countries unless they have oil. Proceed to end.
6. Does this country have any contracts with American oil companies?
Yes- See, US corporations are plotting to keep control of the oil! Proceed to end.
No- Proceed to 7.
7. Would a Chomsky reading student be aware that it produces oil with no input from the USA and has not been invaded?
Yes- Wrong. Proceed to 'No'.
No- Whew! Proceed to end.
8- See, it's ALL ABOUT OIL!!!!
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