The Undead.

Darling: I Can't Rewrite Budget.

Well obviously not, because that implies that he wrote the original budget himself. I've got a theory that Alastair Darling is actually a ghost and therefore cannot touch anything so he can't hold a pen or touch a keyboard in any case. It was when the cameras filmed him walking along Downing Street on Budget day that I noticed how he just appears to glide down the street making no contact with either the ground or his colleagues, in short he appears to be insubstantial and incapable of making an impression on anyone. It is likely that he is unaware that he's been dead for a couple of centuries.

One of his ex colleagues who could never be accused of being incorporeal is John Prescott who made the hilarious shocking revelation at the weekend that he had been bulimic when he was Deputy Prime minister. Actually he suffered from Bulimia by proxy, a rare condition in which the sufferer stuffs his face and makes the rest of us throw up.