Saturday, May 21, 2011

Rapture Blogging

10:03- So far little sign of rapture. Going to do the lawn.

10:48- Talk to next door neighbour, Mike, he hasn't seen any rapturous events yet but says his highly religious mother hasn't called him as usual. A sign?

11:03- She's called now. No rapture.

11:30- Off to town to see if it's happening there.

11:56- No

12:03- Looking stormy.

12:08- OMG!!!! Mr Parker the mechanic has been taken up into the sky, he's heading towards a bright light!!!.

12:09- A pigeon flew right into him. lol. he's okay and in heaven but the pigeon seems stunned.

12:12- Mrs Parker is crying. Meanwhile three more people have been raptured.

12:15- Holy shit a car just mounted the pavement and almost killed me! The driver has of course been raptured.

12:16- Really picking up now dozens now being taken up to God. Cars are now being abandoned, rather than risking a repeat of earlier event. Paul reckons people are being taken up in order of piety, makes sense I suppose.

12:19- LMFAO dozens of local thugs, drunks and reprobates now outside renouncing their sins! Some of them are being taken though.

12:25- Reverand Michaels hasn't been raptured yet, looks well pissed =)

12:28- Still haven't been taken. Bit worried now. I'm not a big sinner am I?

12:40- Town centre more or less deserted 10 of us left, flashing lights coming from local prison. Even they are being taken before me. Mind you haven't helped my cause by taking Philippa's iPod after she went up. lol

12:49- Just me, Reverend Michaels and Gemma left now, Gemma's got no chance though.

13:00- Shiiiit.

13:03- OMG! A light is now on me, pulling me up I might not have time to fin


A K Haart said...

God will leave a comment soon... any time now...

GOD said...

Actually AK I'm more of a lurker.

James Higham said...

We were left behind, Ross, that's all that happened.