Monday, June 28, 2010

Lessie Nessie?

Nessie sightings are down:

But sightings have declined drastically from a high of 17 in 1996 to ONE last year... and none so far in 2010.

The drop has alarmed Steve and other devotees.

As he crafts the souvenir Nessie models that provide the bulk of his income, 45-year-old Steve remains determined to stay put for an encounter, no matter how long it takes.

"The drop in sightings does concern me but there are several factors at play," he says. "There is surely more than one Nessie, so the animals we are looking for could be dying out

I'd say there are four reasons why sightings are down, firstly because the park is already stretched to capacity by the number of tourists and there isn't any need for more, secondly contrary to popular opinion the campaign against binge drinking has had some success. The third factor is that the base year, 1996, was at the height of the popularity of the X-Files. Lastly the presence of camera phones enables people who've see a shadow take a picture of it and realise that it is in fact just a shadow.

I shouldn't laugh I suppose, because some people have thrown away their entire lives looking for this shit:

It is 19 years since Steve left his girlfriend, well-paid job and Dorset home to live without electricity or running water in a bid to solve the riddle.

He's like the Timothy Treadwell of crap, except as it doesn't exist there will be no such decisive ending.


Brew Wales said...

There is more chance of seeing Nessie in Loch Ness than of seeing Gordon Brown in Westminster

TDK said...


We already know why the Loch Ness Monster is dead. It was global warming

Yaffle said...

A child could spot the whole idea's hooey. Yet I've met several foreign tourists on their way to visiting my homeland, and all were making a beeline for Loch Ness, presumably as it was the only place other than Edinburgh that they'd heard of. I urge them to head for the isles instead.

VisitScotland or whatever they're called need to concoct a sighting or two quickly, or we're in trouble.

Mark Wadsworth said...

The Loch Ness legend is one of the greatest PR stunts ever pulled. Think of all that money they've earned from mugs who visit there on the back of one or two supposed sightings over the past century or two. Pure unbridled genius.

Ross said...

TDK- Global warming is always to blame.

Brew- Maybe Brown is the monster, hence the lack of sightings since 1996.....

Yaffle & MW- I suspect that we will hear of a few sightings in the near future.

James Higham said...

Nessie's obviously died.