With the economy collapsing all around us, I decided to give my dear, sweet Grandmother a call today to see how she was holding up.
"HOW YA DOIN, YA OL' BAT? HOW'S YOUR RETIREMENT NEST EGG HOLDING UP?"
There was no reply, but I could hear the dried up ol' hag wheezing like an asthmatic terrier.
"I GUESS JOHN MCSAME REALLY DID A NUMBER ON YOU, DIDN'T HE?" I pressed her.
"How does John McCain have anything to do with what's going on with the banking system?" Grandma finally spoke up. Too bad it was just another stupid Repug talking point.
"JOHN MCSAME VOTED WITH BUSH 90% OF THE TIME!!!!" I politely reminded her.
"And exactly which bills did he vote with Bush on that are responsible for the current economic downturn?"
You can always tell when the cons have been pre-programmed by their talk radio masters, because they'll question everything you say as if they actually have the ability (and the right) to debate you on your intellectually superior level.
Victoria Floethe at Comment is Free today:
Dealing with one's parents' troglodyte political views can be an exasperating business. But this campaign, perhaps because of its endlessness or because of its increasingly high stakes — the economy melting down or the prospect of Sarah Palin a heart beat away from the presidency — may have made many families more than ordinarily testy about the race.
"I get enough spam as it is, without having to weed through additional emails from family members to determine whether or not they are worth my time. The jokes and cute kittens emails are OK, but please discontinue the forwarding of political and religious emails," my brother wrote my mother earlier this year, precipitating several rounds of back-and-forth recrimination in our family.
......What if you find yourself having to decide: my politics or my family? And having to conclude that these people who I've mostly cherished are cretins?
"Is your mother a complete moron?" Asked my New York boyfriend as a I tried to describe my frustrating and confounding conversations. Family pride briefly won out over political sense, rousing me suddenly to attack the boyfriend and defend my moronic mother.
Her article is subtitled "My mother loves Sarah Palin more than she loves me". To be honest I'd imagine she would like syphillis more than her obnoxious daughter.