Monday, December 28, 2009

Time To 419 Scam Al Qaeda

With the arrest of the Nigerian failed plane bomber I can see that this new Islamist-Nigerian connection could be potentially lucrative. So I'm sending this out to every fundamentalist I can think of:
Dear Sir,

Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into terrorist relationship with you. I have the believe you are a reputable and responsible and pious person I can do business with from the little information so far I gathered about you during my search for a partner and by matter of trust I must not hesitate to confide in you for this simple and sincere business.

I am Mahmoud Abacha 29 years of age the only son of late General Abacha whom was killed by the infidels that attacked our country and took over our town. I ran to Lagos the economical capital of Nigeria from were I am contacting you. Before the death of my father he told me that he has US$9,000,000(Nine million united states dollars) worth of diamonds kept in a private security company here in Nigeria in my name as the next of kin.

Naturally this is too much for me to access as I am a man of modest means. It would make great use to me if a man of your prestige could could help me to access the value of the diamonds. Perhaps in exhange for $1 000 000 you could take control of the diamonds for me. In order to to get the diamonds out of the country into your care I need an initial deposit of $500 000 to make good my plans.

I am contacting you with due sence of humanity that you will give it a sympathetic and mutual consideration.

I am honourably seeking your assistance in the following ways.

(1)To serve as the guardian of this fund and to come assist me visit the security company here to retrive the consignment to be utilised in an aviation based project.

(2)To make arrangement for me to come over to your country to further my education and to secure a residential permit for me in your country.

(3)To provide good investment plans for the fund and to manage the diamonds for 5 years, during the investment period,only our profit will be shared annually 70% for me the investor while 30% will be for you the fund manager annually. Obviously this is a fee not he charging of usury.

(4) To utilise said funds for the purposes of jihad against the Great Satan.

Moreover, I am willing to offer you 15 % of the total sum as compensation for your effort /input after the successful transfer of this fund to your nominated account overseas, before the investments starts.and I have maped 5% for any expenses that might be incured during the course of this transaction.

furthermore, you can indicate your option towards assisting me as I believe that this transaction would be concluded within a stipulated period of time you signify your interest to assist me.

I will need your bank details for the purposes of transferring the money into your trusteeship.

With my warm heart I offer friendship. It would help us further our friendship if we could share some personal information, for instancewhat is your mother's maiden name?

Thanks and God bless.
Best Regards.

10 comments:

JuliaM said...

/applause

manwiddicombe said...

Excellent!

North Northwester said...

Brilliant! Gotta say, the best spoof I've read fro a long time. And don't think it doesn't hurt, Ross, because it does.

Mark Wadsworth said...

Any takers yet?

Ross said...

"Any takers yet?"

Yes, Abu Hamza has written back to me to say:

"gwrf fred3q42fc l;oyh ddsadsacFDDFVFS DSDDSLKm9"

Perry de Havilland said...

Pure genius :-)

Jenn of the Jungle said...

Awesome.

Ross said...

All praise and flattery is much appreciated.

Daphne said...

That was brilliant.

Anonymous said...

Keep posting stuff like this i really like it.