Monday, April 19, 2010

Does Iceland Really Exist?

Or is it an elaborate hoax?

Let's consider the evidence:
  1. I can't actually see any volcanic ash in the sky, despite the claims in the news that this has caused planes to be grounded.
  2. I have never met an Icelander.
  3. Their naming system, a given first name and a surname that is your father's first name with "son" or "dottir" suffixed on the end, means that anyone can create their own Icelandic name is an instant. Quite convenient if they are faking it.
  4. Their language is quite obviously a children's game, so bank is "banki".
  5. They are supposedly a modern country yet believe in elves.
  6. The North Atlantic location is quite convenient if it is bogus, because no one goes there by accident.
  7. Beer supposedly costs £7 a pint, pah!
  8. Icelanders are supposed to be nordic, but the most famous Icelander, Bjork, looks distinctly East Asian.
  9. Googling "Iceland doesn't exist" reveals that others have realised this fact independently. What are the odds that we are all wrong?
  10. Their military history consists of the Cod Wars, who goes to war over fish yet doesn't kill anyone? Performance artists engaged in a hoax, that is who.
Forget the troofers, birthers, JFK nuts, this is the real conspiracy.


Tom Paine said...

They do exist. I have met several and my daughter numbers one among her friends.

They are spectacularly beautiful people. They have patronymics / matronymics instead of surnames so all their names end in ...son or ...dottir. As the name of the father or mother referred to is their first name (and they don't reset on marriage) it's bloody confusing - except to the Icelanders who pretty much all know each other anyway.

They are not to blame for their volcanoes, but have to take some responsibility for their choice of governments. Bear in mind however, that they are few, and the odds of finding a capable politician among them (given that we can't find one with almost 60 million people to choose from) are vanishingly small.

I think we should lay off them. The fact that our governments messed up our relationships at national level doesn't mean we have to be stupid too. I have met only a small sample but there were none I didn't like.

Macheath said...

'Performance artists engaged in a hoax'

Maybe they're Green activists too. My younger son suggests it's all an eco-conspiracy to break the airlines and prove we can survive without them.

(Mind you, as he persist in winding up his older brother with the phrase 'Save the Rainforest - Burn an Orang-outan', I'm not sure we should give him any credence.)

BenSix said...

It's called Iceland, and yet - in an act of staggering deceit - it isn't made of ice!

Ross said...

BenSix- that's just misleading on their part.