Sunday, May 03, 2009

Polly For Laureate.

I don't know much about poetry but I know what I like- none of it. Some people might see this as proof of what a heathen I am, but I say that poetry is only really popular in preliterate societies where long stories have to be put into a rhythmic pattern in order to be memorised and retold. Once you've learnt to read you can write things down and refer back to what you have written at any point so lose the need to put the words into poems.

Carol Anne Duffy has been appointed as the new Poet Laureate, but the real purpose of court poets throughout the ages has been as an official sycophant praising powers of the day & Duffy doesn't appear to be willing to do that.

Therefore I propose that either Polly Toynbee* or David Aaronovitch should replace Duffy immediately. They might not technically be poets but as I explained poetry is basically prose for the illiterate**, the real talent is churning out several hundred words of ecstatic approval for whatever New Labour do.

* Polly went off the reservation this week and attacked her Viking, Gordon Brown, but that was probably out of disappointment with being overlooked.

** I could also explain my theory that theatre is television for those without electricity & that painting is an inferior precursor of photography.


Ruari C said...

My English Literature teacher at A-Level once described Caron Ann Duffy, the works of whom we were at the time studying, as a fat grumpy lesbian who wanted a husband and a dog, who could write an Aga-Saga with the best of them.

It is a description that brings a smile to my face, even today.

Ross said...

I don't know enough to say whether the description is true, but I do like it. It's almost poetic.