Tuesday, May 18, 2010

People I Have An Irrational Dislike Of- Part One

Mountaineers, specifically people who go climbing one of the really big mountains like Everest or K2.

Look all you’ve done is go up a big rock, realised that there is nothing at the top and come back down again. I specifically dislike you if you are in the media for creating some kind of obscure record- youngest Briton up Everest, Most times up Everest, first up Everest on a pogo stick or whatever. I am not remotely impressed.

And you are selfish, the death rate for these big mountain climbs is horrendous yet you continue to do it. Risking your life not to rescue people from burning buildings, or defending your country but climbing up and down a big fucking rock.

And you have names like Kenton Cool and are married to people called Jazz Cool. If names influence one’s personality how smug must they be?

Frankly I hope you all freeze your fingers off.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Still - at the end of the day - you haven't climbed everest and you can't.

Edina said...

I think the nutters who go walking up Snowdon in the snow with a t-shirt on and a packet of crips as supplies should be left to freeze to death up there.

Ross said...

Anon- you're right I can't. Still it's just a big cold rock with little atmosphere so why would I want to climb it?

Ross said...

Edina- Agreed.

Macheath said...

I like the 'Part One' bit best - looking forward to many more...

AnotherAnon said...

Wow!

At the ungodly hour of 3.14am someone kicked sand in the face of Ross, who rather than take the Charles Atlas course, rationalised why it is better to let the bully have the girl.

Of course if you analyse it everything is pointless. There goes sport, hobbies and any pleasure in life.

Chuckles said...

Doubled, redoubled and vulnerable when funds are extorted from friends, family and 'the public' to pay for and publicise the navel gazing, and/or to allegedly benefit some scrote 'chariddee'.

'I will selflessly undertake a round the world cruise in an outside stateroom, to publicise poor reading and math skills in British Education'
No?

Ross said...

AnotherAnon- In fairness I specifically refer and link to climbers of both sexes. Besides which I did label it an "irrational dislike".

James Higham said...

What about the girl though? :)

Mark Wadsworth said...

Yeah, but that Bonita Norris is way cute! She's a MILF ('Mountaineer I'd Like to F...)

What puzzles me is why the photo' appears to show her near the top of Everest but without the warm cloths, knitted cap, climbing goggles, icicles hanging off nose etc.

Laban said...

Because it's there, Ross. The same symptom that occurs when you see a strapping 5'10" blonde.

"Frankly I hope you all freeze your fingers off."

British climber and SAS men Brummie Stokes and Bronco Lane survived an open-air bivouac after climbing the summit of Everest in 1976, but were badly frostbitten. When Stokes arrived back in England, he consulted with a doctor regarding his severely frostbitten toes. The doctor saw it was clear there would need to be amputation of the toes, but he advised that they should wait for two months to see which tissue was going to die off and which could be saved. The summer of 1976 was a particularly hot one, and pretty soon, as the toes started to get blacker and to separate from the good flesh, they also began to smell terribly. After the first month, tiny maggots began eating at the dead tissue between the frostbite that had gone hard and the healthy flesh on Stokes' feet. A gap was appearing between the two that began to expose the bones of the by-now dead toes.

One evening he attended a party in Hereford, and during its course a nurse from the local hospital asked to see the frostbitten toes. As he removed his dressings, the audience reeled from the smell of rotten flesh. The nurse was unfazed and asked about the maggots and whether she could touch the toes so she could know what they felt like. By now the toes were all hard and wrinkled and completely dead. She reached down to squeeze the big toe and Stokes felt a sharp pain shooting up through his ankle.

He looked down to see her fainting at his feet. She had tweaked the big toe hard and it had fallen off.

It was laying on the carpet - although not for long. The dog saw to that. Two more girls fainted and several people were sick. It was horribly embarrassing for Stokes - but at least he got most of the curry to himself!

(From High : Stories Of Survival From Everest And K2)

Ross said...

"The same symptom that occurs when you see a strapping 5'10" blonde."

Leave my Swedish Masseur, Sven, out of this.

Samuel Buckett said...

Sounds like jealousy old boy.