Headline Of The Day

Convoy raid condemned as Aussies found safe

Look Australians can be a little bit annoying but surely not harming Aussies isn't cause for condemnation.

People I Have An Irrational Dislike Of- Part Two

The England Supporters Band who follow the English football team making a sodding cacophony for 90 minutes whilst people are trying to enjoy the game.

Actually whilst my dislike of them isn't irrational, the scale of it is. I detest them. They've decided to impose themselves on all the other fans in the stadium and at home who don't really want to listen to their repetitive shite. It destroys the atmosphere because the sound of the crowd should really relate to what is happening on the field of play, not whatever these clowns have on their play list next.

Is there anything more depressing than hearing them churn out "the Great Escape" every 15 minutes? Fair enough if the team has done something that would make that song particularly appropriate by rescuing themselves from certain defeat for instance but they just play it at random points in the game for no obvious reason.

Frankly I hope that their plane to South Africa is diverted to Zimbabwe and they spend the entire World Cup locked in a prison in Harare under the threat of death.

Update: From the Urban Dictionary:

Bunch of "loyal" fans, generally regarded as attention-seeking atmosphere-killers employed by the English Football Association to play at England matches. Home and away. Possibly the most infuriating, pointless, mind-numbing collaboration of idiots the world has ever seen. They have an extensive repertoire of four songs, one of which they can't play properly. Their renendition of the "Great Escape" theme has been going on for about eight years now, it has never once been appropriate. No one likes them anymore, their kitsch, camp appeal died after the first three matches.

David Laws

I'll just cut and paste something I've said about the man on another blog.

I like Laws, he is one of the prime movers in bringing the Lib Dems to a more coherent position and he had been the best performer in the first month of the new government.

However he has to resign as Chief Secretary to the Treasury, how can he be responsible for administering the necessary but painful cuts in public spending when he has been so profligate with the public purse? Telling people they have to accept pay restraint after claiming £40000 he should not have done means that he isn't credible.

I Told You So

Actually looking through my archive it appears I didn't actually say that I thought the hysteria over "Meow Meow" would probably turn out to be completely unfounded.

Anyway it turns out that the teenagers whose deaths were attributed to the drug didn't actually take it:

Two teenagers whose deaths were linked to meow meow had not taken the drug, it was revealed yesterday.

The deaths of Louis Wainwright, 18, and Nicholas Smith, 19, sparked fears about then legal synthetic stimulant mephedrone.

The rebuttal will get less attention than the initial allegations.

It turns out that the sudden deaths of heavy drinking teenagers with symptoms consistent with the effects of excess alcohol consumption was due to the alcohol they had consumed. In that sense the coverage of MCAT resembles the coverage of date rape drugs- when spiked drinks are blamed for effects that were pretty consistent with unspiked drinks.

Former government drug advisor David Nutt notes the role of the police in hyping up the dangers of legal highs in this case.

More CGT Fun

As I mentioned the other day, the Daily Mail has been asking property investment companies to find sympathetic investors who are worried about the proposed rise in Capital Gains Tax. This is the sort of thing the stories are being used for. In the case of couple who have owned a second home for years and want to use it to fund their retirement- it isn't obvious to me why the don't simply keep making money from the rental income rather than selling the house.

CGT is neither the best nor the worst tax out there, but if it is a threat to property prices the Daily Mail will act as if it is the reintroduction of the Window Tax.

We've All Been There

Some people are very naive:

A CROSSWORD fan aged 89 used an internet search to solve a clue about a donkey - and was bombarded with hard-core porn.

Jack Sedgewick got stuck on 14 across: "Wild asian ass."

The great-grandad typed "asian ass" into Yahoo's search engine in the hope of finding the answer to the newspaper poser.

That was his excuse anyway..... he hasn't explained why "hot oriental butts" was his next search.

The Ground Zero Mosque.

There are a lot of reasons to be concerned at the plan to build a "mega" mosque at the location of the World Trade Center. Whilst I don't subscribe to the notion that all Muslims are terrorist sympathisers it is certainly provocative to build a mosque at the site where 3000 people were murdered in the name of Islam and if I were a moderate Muslim I would urge a little sensitivity among my coreligionists.

That the mosque is being set up by moderate Muslims who are opposed to the Al Qaeda is fine, but you can't really guarantee that this will remain the case. The Finsbury Park Mosque, which was a focal point for British Islamism for many years, was initially sufficiently mainstream that Prince Charles was the guest of honour at the official opening.

However I can understand why the New York planning authorities decided to allow the building to commence- it is the best possible insurance against future terrorist attacks. In fact the only danger the site will face from terrorism in future will be when politicians stampede to get there after the next terrorist attack in order to forestall the "backlash", that always seems to be coming but never actually arrives.

Note To Self

A hill is a dangerous location to change a tyre.

Joseph Harker Writes About Racism- Who Would Have Guessed?

Joseph Harker is upset that racists are allowed to teach in schools, in particular members of the BNP. I'm also upset that members of the BNP are teaching- because they are largely illiterate. The number of BNP members in the teaching profession is so small that the fuss over the issue smacks of a moral panic anyway and besides people should only be sacked for their beliefs if they intrude into how they do their jobs.

Of course as Joseph Harker has previously stated that all white people are racist by definition he might not be the best person to make the case as presumably this means that white people should be automatically excluded from the teaching profession.

Shameless

The Labour supporting pundits who are wailing and shroud waving over who is going to be hurt by the new government's budget cuts are by and large the same people who cheered the massive expansion of public spending that has left us with a deficit so large that cuts are necessary.

Cuts are brutal, even when they are made in areas where the government shouldn't really have been spending that much they will cause real pain to the people employed there who are not personally to blame for the deficit.

However the likes of Polly Toynbee are like arsonist jeering at the fire brigade because they damage doors when they knock them down. They are at least partly responsible for the complete loss of fiscal discipline by the last government that have landed us in this situation.

Pun Missed

In my post on the horse f***er yesterday, I missed the really brilliant pun, even though I quoted it, so I'll do it again with the key part highlighted:

The 66-year-old man who in April pleaded guilty in Leicester Crown Court to charges of "buggery of a donkey between February 2 and February 5, 1999, and buggery of a horse between March 15 and 18, 2004", has been jailed for 22 months.
Joseph Squires - of "no stable address" - also admitted two charges of damaging property, "relating to the two animals on the same dates".

"No stable address"- brilliant!

Racism Watch

Suggesting that Afghanistan may in certain respects not be at the cutting edge of modernity is racist now.

Which is good to know.

Suspects & Anonymity

The decision to grant anonymity to people accused of rape seems like a sensible move. Given how damaging such an accusation is it is a form of punishment regardless of whether a conviction actually occurs. The argument that it prevents serial rapists like John Worboys being caught seems ill founded- if the media were reporting that an unnamed taxi driver in a certain part of London had been accused of rape then surely that would be sufficient information to prompt any other victims who had been raped by a taxi driver in London to come forward.

One thing that does occur to me though, should anonymity routinely apply to all suspects in serious crimes up until such a time as they are convicted? Someone who is wrongly accused of murder is going to have a pretty tough time reintegrating into society if any time someone googles his name reports of the murder will be there.

Animal Magic

How come cows get to trample humans left, right and centre but when we fight back we're in the wrong?

Speaking of animal cruelty this horse lover has been punished severely:

The 66-year-old man who in April pleaded guilty in Leicester Crown Court to charges of "buggery of a donkey between February 2 and February 5, 1999, and buggery of a horse between March 15 and 18, 2004", has been jailed for 22 months.
Joseph Squires - of "no stable address" - also admitted two charges of damaging property, "relating to the two animals on the same dates".

Time To Sell Shares.....

..... in 18-30 holidays.

Child Trust Funds were always a sure indicator that the last government had simply started spending money for its own sake.

Give David Miliband A Hand

When a YouTube video is embedded on a site then a still image captured from the video appears before you press play. It's unfortunate that the still image of David Miliband in his official campaign launch video makes it seem as though he is indicating that he is a wanker.



In fairness he is at least more realistic about the scale of Labour's defeat than his rivals.

Quote Of The Day

On the subject of the newly emerged opposition of Ed Miliband, Ed Balls and Ed 209 to the Iraq war, Nick M makes a good point:

Ed Milliband is on the other hand so much the true believer and people’s commissar that he believes the most important consequence of a war was its effect on the reputation of the Labour Party.

Profiles In Courage

If you opposed the war in Iraq, what sort of candidate for leader of the Labour Party is preferable- someone who supports the war or someone who didn't believe in it but voted for it anyway but didn't think to mention their opposition until they thought it was beneficial to their careers?

Musical Interlude

Bonus points if you guess who does backing vocals on this single.

So Hot

I'm Melting.

It's the dozen puppies inside my car I feel sorry for...... actually about 7 puppies now.

Quotes Of The Day

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Mr Eugenides on Diane Abbott's entry into the Labour leadership race.

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

Alan A at Harry's Place on Diane Abbott's entry into the Labour leadership race.

Korea Advice

I'm inclined to agree with this- China should be encouraged to invade North Korea. North Korea's unprovoked attack on a South Korean naval ship is as blatant an act of war as anyone's ever seen and it is hard to see how North Korea will be dealt with in the long term without all out war.

It may be difficult to see what China gets out of it, but the DPRK must be destabilising. Perhaps a US withdrawal from the Korean peninsula and Japan would be a carrot to dangle in front of them in return for sorting out the North.

Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back In The Water

Actually it probably is safe now.

Ed Miliband's Marriage Problem

One thing which I don't think has been mentioned in relation to Ed Miliband's leadership bid is that he isn't married but instead lives with the mother of his son.

In theory his personal life is just that- personal- and his situation is perfectly normal nowadays. Marriage might well important building block of society but each couple have their own reasons for having whatever arrangements they prefer and it would certainly be unedifying if prospective leaders started getting married in order to benefit their prime ministerial aspirations.

However given the focus on the leaders' wives during the election it is unrealistic to expect his private life to remain off limits. Back in 2000 there was a leaked memo from Tony Blair in which the former PM expressed his astonishment that he could be viewed as hostile to marriage:

It is bizarre that any government I lead should be seen as anti-family.

In other words he grasped that people view the party's committment to family issues through the private lives of their leaders. It is unfair but there you go. Whilst Ed Miliband's situation is really quite common I suspect that if the subject of marriage comes up- for example when the tax system is adjusted to take account of it- any criticism that he makes will be seen as an attack on traditional values and the institution of marriage itself.

Cleggeron Gets Desperate

Does anyone else think that Cameron & Clegg's latest effort at selling the public on the coalition is both undignified and patronising?:



See also.

Winos On A Bench

I saw 6 winos on one park bench yesterday, is this a record?

If so is this due to the recession?

People I Have An Irrational Dislike Of- Part One

Mountaineers, specifically people who go climbing one of the really big mountains like Everest or K2.

Look all you’ve done is go up a big rock, realised that there is nothing at the top and come back down again. I specifically dislike you if you are in the media for creating some kind of obscure record- youngest Briton up Everest, Most times up Everest, first up Everest on a pogo stick or whatever. I am not remotely impressed.

And you are selfish, the death rate for these big mountain climbs is horrendous yet you continue to do it. Risking your life not to rescue people from burning buildings, or defending your country but climbing up and down a big fucking rock.

And you have names like Kenton Cool and are married to people called Jazz Cool. If names influence one’s personality how smug must they be?

Frankly I hope you all freeze your fingers off.

Inside The Sausage Factory

Someone who owns various houses through a property company showed me an email he has received from them. They are asking for clients who are willing to be interviewed by the Daily Mail about their concerns over the proposed rise in Capital Gains Tax. They are particularly interested in finding a lady who has one property that she hopes to sell in order to fund her pension.

So there you go- a heart rending tale of a middle aged woman who is worried about her pension- next week's news today.

Quote Of The Day

Henry Porter in the Guardian:

One of the great pleasures of last week was hearing Jack Straw speaking on the Today programme in that patient, reasonable way of the true autocrat, and suddenly realising that I never have to pay attention to him again.

Pope On A Rope?

The publicity seekers who are trying to get the Pope arrested seem to be making a very strange argument:

Geoffrey Robertson, a UK barrister, and solicitor Mark Stephens believe the Pope would be unable to claim diplomatic immunity from arrest because although his tour is a state visit, he is not the head of a state recognised by the United Nations.

Surely the relevent point is whether the Vatican is recognised as a state by the UK, not the United Nations. Britain has full diplomatic relations with the Vatican, so in order to make the case that the Pope isn't a head of state you also have to argue that the United Kingdom has no say in who it recognises as another sovereign state.

Also the Pope's supposed offences were committed abroad, so whilst simultaneously losing the right to choose who to recognise as a nation we also gain the right to run the legal systems of every other country on the planet, if we follow the internal logic of the likes of Geoffrey Robertson.

Chickfight!*

Polly attacks Hattie, not savagely but given that they are two peas in a pod it is noteworthy none the less:

Harriet Harman, as elected representative of the party, did nothing to save it from certain defeat

Harsh, Harriet Harman did everything she could to save Labour by staying away from the TV screens for 5 weeks. She probably cost the Conservatives an overall majority by that selfless act alone.

* If the title seems a little bit sexist, then I should say that it is a reference to this, which can be seen on some god awful digital TV channel somewhere.

Union Leader Celebrates Banning Of Unions.

Tony Woodley, the buffoonish leader of the UNITE union is holidaying in Cuba, supposedly to celebrate 51 years of Castro's seizure of power. Although I suppose he could be sampling the underage prostitutes and cigars instead. This is causing some problems with the efforts to resolve the planned BA strikes that are coming up.

Perhaps we can learn from Cuba though- and ban Trade Unions like UNITE so they can't disrupt everyone's travel arrangements. In fact we could really be like Cuba and ban travel all together.

Finally here is a picture of Mr Woodley demonstrating his Castro style tolerence for a free press:

This Might Not End Well

Whilst I understand fully why a deal with the Liberal Democrats was necessary, and there are many areas where the party is the most impressive of the main ones, and I also understand that it is important to keep the Liberal Democratic left on board- is it really necessary to appoint complete lunatics to the cabinet?

I am referring to the appointment of Norman Baker as a minister for Transport. This is someone who wrote a book dedicated to proving that Dr David Kelly was murdered and has strongly implied that Robin Cook was also murdered by the British state.

I'm no fan of the last government, but these sort of wild accusations are not the work of a mind that should be entrusted with great responsibility.

Family Business

So far today I've seen that Miliband is to challenge Miliband for the leadership of the Labour Party, over at CiF I read a post by David "Son of John" Prescott about said contest, Fiona Miller (Alastair Campbell's partner) writing about education policy, rumours about Ed Balls offering to stand aside for his wife Yvette Cooper in the leadership race and read stuff on this Labour supporting blog by Will "son of Jack" Straw.

I've seen Austrian cellars that have a less incestuous vibe than the Labour Party.

Mission Accomplished

A Swedish cartoonist who has received death threats for depicting the Islamic prophet Mohammed was attacked as he gave a presentation to a Swedish University. He is keen to go back and give another speech to uphold free speech, however:

Officials said they would "not likely" invite Vilks again because of the incident. In some quarters, the university's reponse is adding to concerns that violence and threats from some members of the Muslim community are effectively muzzling free speech.

Another victory for militant Islamism over free speech.

Winston Who?

PR disguised as news, designed to elicit loud tuts of dismay from various people concerned about the teaching of British history, but really giving much needed publicity for the client:

By 2090 future generations will no longer recognise Winston Churchill, new research revealed today.

It seems hard to believe amid the current political storm, but research commissioned by the Royal Mint found that, in 80 years' time, people will not recognise the former Prime Minister.

As part of the survey, carried out to mark this week's 70th anniversary of Churchill's prime ministerial tenure, more than 1,136 people were asked to identify three prominent 20th century PMs including Churchill, Margaret Thatcher and Tony Blair.

One in five (19%) adults failed to name Churchill, with the figure rising to 32% of 25 to 34-year-olds and 44% of those aged 16 to 24.

The survey doesn't really explain how the level of public recognition can be extrapolated into the future (they give a method but is plainly absurd), because the purpose of the survey isn't to elicit information but to get the client in the news. Reading to the end of the article reveals what is actually going on:

Kevin Clancy, head of Historical Services at the Royal Mint, added: "It's shocking that one of our greatest statesmen runs the risk of potentially being forgotten.

"Churchill remains an historical colossus and is arguably one of the nation's greatest Britons.

"It's fundamentally important that we commemorate our heritage for future generations to celebrate, and to mark the 70 years that have passed since he was Prime Minister we're immensely proud to have designed a new £5 coin featuring an iconic Churchillian image, to help his memory live on."

What you have something to sell, I would never have guessed.

Why do newspapers report this crap as news?

I Predict A Riot

Whilst I enjoyed Cameron and Clegg's reenactment of Brokeback Mountain yesterday, it seems that some people aren't entirely happy with the new government.

This tantrum is the pick of the bunch:

You can't 'rebuild the family'. The nuclear heterosexual family, that fragile unit of industrial capitalist economy, has been broken for a generation as people realise that they don't have to chain themselves to each other in order to survive. You can't cram that back in its box, no matter how many women you try to persuade that they'll be better off wedded to their sinks, no matter how many children you shame for having divorced parents, no matter how coldly you judge or how hard you slice at people's earnings. Times are hard already. They won't stand for it.
......

You can't stop the cities. You can't stop the internet fracturing everything that was solid and safe about the priggish culture that made you. You can't stop the riot that's brewing as people in Britain realise that they have been cheated, time and time again, by a system stuffed with people who hate them and want to put them into boxes and make them do what they're told.

It's stuff like this that makes the election result so worthwhile.

via Laban

Incidentally I have to say that I'm mystified at the Lib Dem supporters who are outraged at the very prospect of a pact with the Conservatives. If the only acceptable role that the Lib Dems could play was that of allies to Labour then why bother existing as a separate party in the first place? Without the option of dealing with either larger party the Lib Dems would have no purpose.

Tree Kills Tree Hugger

This is like the British version of Timothy Treadwell, a man murdered by the life forms he swore to protect.

Hiding In Plain Sight

This is a fun story- teenage reality star & model jailed for her part in a burglary ring that targeted the homes of Hollywood celebrities. My favourite part:

Nick Prugo, another member of the gang who has admitted his part in the thefts, revealed they were able to gain access to Hilton's home after finding a front door key under the front mat.

He said they had chosen her because she was 'dumb' - but were shocked to find the key in the most obvious of places

Money can't buy common sense I guess.

I wish I had aspiring models breaking into my house.

I For One Welcome Our New Liberal Democratic Overlords

Least worst alternative I guess.

Cliche Watch

What the pundits say about Brown's exit:

Kevin Maguire-"Nothing became him as the manner of his leaving"

Donald Macintyre- "Appropriately perhaps it's a line from the Scottish play that may act as his epitaph – political rather than actual, of course – that "nothing in his life became him like the leaving of it". "

Daniel Hannan- "For once, the word “tragedy” is exactly apposite. I have laboured the Brown/Macbeth parallel so often as to try the patience of every reader of this blog, but it is appropriate to close by quoting that play one more time: “Nothing in his life became him like the leaving of it”. "

Jackie Ashley- "Nothing became him so much as the manner of his going."


The thing is though, the cliche doesn't even apply, his exit has been entirely in character with everything else he has done- cynical, tribal and graceless.

Rejoice! Rejoice!

Still it will put pressure on Nick Clegg not to do a deal with the Tores.

Quote Of The Day

Something for anyone burnt out by the focus on politics for the last week, from 'Scraggs' in the comments under this article at Comment is Free:

Typical that, out of the three of them, Clegg appears as the deep-thinking but slightly bewildered underdog who haplessly allows events to overtake him. Anyway, I'm not even sure why I'm watching Last Of The Summer Wine.

Building On The Progressive Election Victory

Exclusive To All Left Wing Newspapers & Websites:

To many the election seems to be a clear Labour defeat and a rejection of what they stand for. However we can’t let the notion of a Tory mandate become the official story. If we assume, despite a complete absence of evidence, that Liberal Democrat voters overwhelmingly prefer a Labour government then the situation is clear.

The election is a decisive victory for a progressive alliance led by Gordon Brown.

Only 36% of people voted for the Tories. Whereas if we add Labour and Liberal Democrat votes together for some arbitrary reason that I won't explain then we get 52%.

There is a progressive majority in this country today.

The overwhelming issue for the public is not as the Murdoch press would have you believe the size of the deficit or the war in Afghanistan- The public have spoken and it is clear that they are clamouring for proportional representation under the D’Hondt system of allocating representatives.

Many Liberal Democrat supporters who voted tactically to keep the Tories out are dismayed at the current talks with David Cameron, and those who voted Lib Dem to keep Labour out don’t exist. So let Nick Clegg hold his nerve and have the courage to form a grand progressive alliance of Labour, the Liberal Democrats, the SNP, Plaid Cymru, the Green Party, the SDLP, the Alliance Party, Sinn Fein, the DUP, the Cornish Nationalists, and Esther Rantzen.

We could then offer the progressive change that the British people have so clearly demonstrated that they want:

• A move to tackle the problem of older people dying in winter by making the wearing of hats compulsory.

• Banning “Top Gear” from the television, to be replaced with Jo Brand, Marcus Brigstocke and Jeremy Hardy exploring the most exciting new bus lanes and cycle paths whilst offering cutting satire about the how they hate the Daily Mail.

• Increasing taxes on certain foreign owned newspapers.

• And the Daily Mail.

• Ensuring that every child has access to a Social Worker an ASBO advisory officer.

• Increase immigration so that every town in Britain can benefit from the cultural vibrancy of a Little Mogadishu

• Ensure that every child scores above average in exams by 2013.

• More powers for Social Workers to target high risk groups who pose a danger to children, such as parents.
  

With such a programme the progressive coalition will be practically unbeatable.

Just imagine how a progressive cabinet would look:

Prime Minister/First Facilitator: Gordon Brown
Secretary of State for Fairness: Harriet Harman.
Secretary of State for Progress: Nick Clegg
Foreign Secretary: Hugo Chavez
Children’s Secretary: Beatrix Campbell OBE
Home Secretary: Caroline Lucas
Secretary of Defence: Gerry Adams
Secretary of Peace: Ken Livingstone.
Chief Ayatollah for the NHS: Ed Balls
Secretary of State for Wales: Lembit Opik
Secretary of State for Scotland: Alec Salmond
Secretary of State for England: Alec Salmond
Global Warming Secretary: Bono
Europe Minister: Jacques Delors


This is why Nick Clegg must seize this once in a generation opportunity to remould British politics.

So How Did The A List Go.....

..... about as well as expected.

Whose Afraid Of PR?

Should the Tories really be worried by electoral reform? The idea of a "progressive majority" that enthuses many on the left rests on the assumption that people will continue to vote as they do if the system is changed. Not all Liberal Democrat voters are particularly left wing, many are basically centrist. Most countries with PR do not continually elect left wing governments.

Besides as both Michael Portillo and Simon Heffer point out today, electoral reform maybe something which is inevitable, so it is therefore a question of whether it is done in a manner designed to bolster the Labour Party's grip on power or not.

Given the tribal antipathy towards the Tories in many parts of the country it is possible that it could open up the possibility of a new force on the right that can appeal to groups who are set against them.

It could even be a really good means of stuffing the Labour Party, If they offered the Lib Dems a deal of AV+, with redrawn constituencies to neutralise Labour's inbuilt advantage of smaller electorates, and some restrictions on Union funding then they could finish Labour off.

Ship Of Fools

The things you see when you don't have a U-Boat to hand.

Gobble Gobble

Turkey Plans First Nudist Hotel

Clever birds.

Well not that clever as they appear to have got the architectural plans wrong. It's a shame as they had a lot of bookings for Christmas.

Aftermath

Conservatives- A disappointing night, even though it was one of the biggest swings to the party on record. The fact is a majority government looked assured for the last two years but it has not materialised. Given the cuts that will be needed this is tricky.

They have made good inroads in Wales but Scotland remains a disaster zone and the link up with the Ulster Unionists seems to have flopped. They have a majority in England though.

Labour- Surprisingly good. Despite being the most incompetent government for generations they remain in with a small possibility of forming a coalition government. They are unquestionably the main party of the left both in terms of votes and seats. If they are in opposition then they have a good platform from which to launch their recovery once they ditch Gordon Brown.

Liberal Democrats- A disaster, after looking to be on the verge of a major breakthrough they actually lost seats. Worse still they now have the dilemma of propping up a despised Labour Party and suffering the inevitable backlash at the polls or supporting the Tories and enraging their left wing activists, which would kill their chance of becoming the main party of the left.

On the plus side they did lose Lembit Opik.

Greens- Great night, they won a seat.

SNP- In once sense a perfectly respectable result, but given how much they hyped up their chances, going for 20 seats, it was poor. Salmond looks like a fool. I suspect that a Tory government will benefit the Scottish Labour Party more than the SNP.

Plaid Cymru- Nothing much changed.

BNP- Their chances of winning were always overhyped.

UKIP- We need to wait until the Buckingham count until we can judge. Nigel Farage's election stunt was awesome.

DUP- Mixed night, the loss of their leader will hurt, but they are the main party of Unionism once more.

UUP- A poor night.

SDLP- As they were.

Sinn Fein- Ditto

Alliance- Another party that has made its Westminster breakthrough. They should try to recruit the independent MP Sylvia Hernon.

The Basildon Moment?

Labour hold Birmingham Edgebaston, which seems to indicate that they won't get an overall majority. It seems as symbolic as the Tories holding Basildon in the 1992 election.

Oh well.

At least Lembit Opik has lost his seat.

Peter Robinson Ousted.

David Vance from the 'A Tangled Web' blog, was standing against Peter Robinson in East Belfast for the TUV. His vote tally of 1800 odd, is slightly greater than Robinson's margin of defeat to the Alliance candidate.

Awesome!

Peter Robinson is now going to spend more time with his family.

Poor bugger.

Those Closed Polling Stations

The lazy fuckers should have got up earlier.

Lib Dem Collapse

BBC & ITV's exit polls are predicting the Lib Dems will lose seats!

Seems unlikely but cold be indicative of Lib Dem support being ephemeral..

Countdown....

... to 10 pm, when the first Labour Ministers turn on Gordon Brown.

Gordon Is Sorry.

Having been away from my computer for the last week, I never got round to revealing my exclusive footage of Gordon Brown apologising to Gillian Duffy for calling her a bigot.

Bear, Woods.

Given his record as a ultra loyal supporter and apologist for Labour for over a decade isn't it a bit ridiculous for David Aaronovitch to pretend on polling day that he's a floating voter who has reluctantly decided that voting Labour is the best option?

Gary Younge- The Morons' Moron

The Guardian's resident race baiter, Gary Younge hates Tories because:

I hate them for a reason. For lots of reasons, actually. For the miners, apartheid, Bobby Sands, Greenham Common, selling council houses, Section 28, lining the pockets of the rich and hammering the poor – to name but a few. I hate them because they hate people I care about. As a young man Cameron looked out on the social carnage of pit closures and mass unemployment, looked at Margaret Thatcher's government and thought, these are my people. When all the debating is done, that is really all I need to know.

Others have eviscerated Younge better than I could so I want go through everything he writes. However the inclusion of Bobby Sands is telling.

Sands went on his weight watchers course because the government declined to go along with IRA delusions about being political prisoners. She insisted on treating them as criminals who would be treated no differently from other offenders.

Meanwhile over the last decade the United States has been lambasted by the people like Younge for not granting terrorists civilian trials and instead opting for military tribunals.

So it seems that it doesn't matter whether terrorists are treated as criminals or not, that isn't the important point, what matters is that they aren't treated harshly in any way.

Quote Of The Day

Ash cloud permitting, look forward to a wave of celebrities fleeing the country come Friday.

- Mark at Blognor Regis.

So I suppose the obvious question is which Labour luvvie do you really want to leave?

I'd say Jo Brand.

Stoopid Brits

Remember the disastrous intervention by the Guardian into the US election in 2004, Operation Clark County, in which they encouraged Guardian readers to write to US electors in a swing county in the swing state of Ohio?

This had exactly the effect that you would have anticipated, Clark County registered the biggest swing to Bush in the state.

This can work in reverse though, if we could on publicise these smug and condescending lamentations of US liberal pundits at the imminent demise of Labour- with an undertone of how stupid and unenlightened we are- I'm sure a Tory landslide could be guaranteed.

Root Causes Update

India looks likely to execute the surviving culprit of the Bombay massacre, Priyamvada Gopal is upset:

Questions must be asked about the unwillingness of both the Indian and Pakistani states to address the root problems of poverty, expropriation and disaffection that propel mere boys like Kasab into the arms of militias against their own interests.

The root causes that drove the highly educated and well off terrorists to attack the World Trade Center are unspecified. Coincidentally the root causes of terrorism appear to be things that women like Gopal didn't like anyway- Americans, multinationals etc- what a surprise.

Caught With His Trousers Down

When people in the human rights business defend human rights legislation and the people who profit from that, they generally suggest that they are simply minimum standards that all civilised people should support or we risk descending into tyranny. In reality the sort of "human rights" that are upheld are things like this.

Whether banning a criminal from wearing his chav costume is a sensible restriction or not, it is hardly a breach of his human rights given that it is a limited restriction applied to someone who had been punished for misbehaviour.

The Official Unenlightened Commentary Endorsement

Official endorsements of which party to vote for, whether by newspapers, celebrities or businesses are incredibly patronising. You cab figure out who you should support for yourself.

Fwiw I would vote Conservative if I lived in a marginal constituency or maybe even Liberal Democrat if they were the alternative to Labour. As I live in a safe seat I shall vote for whoever is closest to my views, which is still the Conservative candidate in this case.

But Apart From That....

.... can we count on your vote on Thursday.

Tomorrow Is Another Day

Well my computer will be ready tomorrow. After several days with no blogging you would think I'd have something to post about:

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Nope sorry.

Die! Die! Die!

I generally find that the words "Die! Die! Die!" indicate a desire to kill somebody, particularly when uttered whilst beating someone's skull with a heavy weight.

The jury accepted Harvey's lawyer's claim that he was in such a state at the class's behaviour that he could not have intended to harm the boy. Harvey admitted grievous bodily harm without intent. He thought he had killed the boy.

I accept that it seems likely that the victim was an annoying little twat and the teacher was provoked but to acquit him of attempted murder seems perverse.

If the the judge and jury had decided that he was not in a fit mental state to be responsible for his actions then why did he plead guilty to GBH?

Experience

Gordon Brown: 'His experience now looks like a handicap'

Experience is only good if it equips someone with positive skills. Given that Brown's experience is of total incompetence and a demonstrable inability to learn from his mistakes then experience is indeed going to be a handicap.