We're Here, We're Queer, We Don't Want Any More Bears.

The Ministry of Defence have a tough job on their hand, with serious fighting in Afghanistan, troops in Iraq, a growing military threat by Russia and numerous smaller challenges the world over. So naturally they've decided it is the right time to hold a meeting with PETA* over whether to replace the bearskin hats worn by the guards at the palace.

The Ministry of Defence is to meet an animal rights group to discuss alternatives to the bearskin hats worn by guards at Buckingham Palace.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (Peta) has approached Vivienne Westwood and Stella McCartney to design a new shape for the 18in hat.

Perhaps they can then move to change the rations of soldiers in the field so that they no eat meat and dairy products whilst out in the field and instead sit down in Helmand Province to a nice nut cutlet or Quorn Burger.

* PETA refers to 'People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals', not the equally renowned 'People Eating Tasty Animals'.